Channeling My Inner WHORE - "On To The Next."

The man after man, guy after guy occurred for a few years. I recall being so obsessed with this one guy who I knew from my neighborhood. I nicknamed him pencil penis later on but at the time, I would’ve done anything just to spend time with him. I had zero interest in him, in fact I didn’t even notice him, but one night at a night club we’d both been drinking and he pinned me up against a wall. He had me right then and there. We went back to his place that night and he went down on me. I don’t think we fucked. I can’t remember why now though. Essentially, after that, I wanted to be with him every single second of every single day. I couldn’t get him off my mind. He was in my head constantly. I would do anything to be near him, with him and for him to notice me. Except for the obvious of course, which was to consistently call, text and instant message him. I did the opposite. I was too proud, embarrassed, nervous and too good to harass him and show too much interest or over contact. So I always waited and waited. I waited for him to make contact but would always see him at the drop of a hat. He used to be a bartender and he worked nights. I worked days but I would stay up all night waiting for the late night booty call and meet up with him. We’d fuck in his car or at his place and I would leave and go to work from there. I didn’t fucking care what I had to do. I needed him, I wanted him and I was going to have him any way I could. It made me feel high in some way. Like some drug addiction.

One day, he and I went to get some drinks together and he told me about this girl he “liked”. That was it. I was over and done with him. I left the bar that night with him being completely fine and normal but I never once thought about him again. He turned me off. “On to the next” as I always said and always did.

Channeling My Inner WHORE - Part I

I was in my last year of College and I started to notice some serious changes in me. I had suddenly shed an exceptional amount of weight, guys were constantly hitting on me and trying to fuck me, I was still always “dealing” with my ex but now I was always out meeting other guys.

It was this same time that my friends and I started partying very heavily. We were regular club goers and were getting drunk on a weekly basis. Essentially it began as weekends only and then eventually progressed to nightly too.

At this time, I began to experiment with harder drugs which I hadn’t been into in my younger years. When everyone was snorting coke, popping ecstasy and doing bumps of K and Crystal, I was too “scared”. I was in College and I was totally on the straight and narrow. I stopped smoking weed because of a bad experience years prior and it made me much too paranoid and brought back vivid flashbacks which deterred me from being interested. Believe or not, I was actually focused on my studies and my friends were pretty boring. They’d go out for “coffee” and “dessert” on the weekends. Yawn right?

Anyway, as my crowd changed, so did my interests. I was hard partying with anything and everything under the sun. I was getting drunk and high and working out. I was driving fast on highways and staying out all hours of the night. I was working at seedy strips clubs and bars selling shooters and drinks and I loved every fucking minute of it.

I also loved the male attention that all this was brining to me. I had sex with new guys weekly. I was fucking everyone and I was on cloud nine. I had never been physically or sexually connected to the male species like I was now and it was intoxicating. The way that men wanted me was something I had never experienced before and I wanted them just as badly. I was “in love”, “obsessed” and “infatuated” with just about everybody. I would meet them, fall for them, fuck their brains out, have them want me and then I would move on to the next guy I met who I now wanted more than the last. Once I had moved on, it was done. I was never one to go back to something I had once left and as my friends and I coined it, I did not have any interest in “the three R’s”. I was not one to “re-use, reduce or recycle”.

Any time I had interest in a man there was almost always interest in return. In fact, I can’t remember a time when a man I wanted didn’t want me back; at least physically any way. I was so in to these guys that any time I slept with them, I would have orgasm after orgasm and I would fuck them like a porn star. It was never a secret that I loved sex. I was always very sexual with my ex-boyfriend and our sex was never an issue with us. I was passionate, dirty, open, adventurous and I was aggressive too. I was very actively engaged in sex and even quite controlling. I always liked being on top the best and I always came. ALWAYS.