Saturday, January 10, 2015

Adulthood - Growing Up - Part II

Just after graduating from College, my group of gal pals at the time were taking a trip to Mexico. I had never been away before and especially not with friends. I had just turned twenty one at the time and these girls were all about the club and party scene. Unfortunately, since my depression had long disappeared, so had fabulous and sexy anorexic body type.

Regardless, I was going on the trip. There was just one small issue. One of my crew "best friends" had all of sudden become exceptionally close and chummy with my ex boyfriend. The ex boyfriend that every single one of my so-called "friends" knew of and knew very well from past and present. We all knew one another from years ago.

One night, over an online game of backgammon my friend and I were chatting and she nonchalantly mentioned that my ex had "dropped by" her place to "hang out" in her drive way. An immediate red flag went off. I wasn't of the "jealous" type per se but I was extremely possessive and territorial and I was no fucking idiot either. Or so I thought. He and I had been "on and off" for at least five years at this point and it was obvious I still had very strong feelings for him. She maintained they were nothing more than friends and she was doing nothing wrong. Her and some other crew members had known each other for a long time before her and I became "close" she maintained.

Mexico came and went and for the first time in my life, I "whored" myself. I was the "kissing slut of Cancun". I loved every minute of it. I was alone with three other attractive women for a week during spring break and this was me letting loose on a whole new level. I didn't even know this kind of personal entertainment existed. It was exhilarating. The girls would egg and cheer me on and I lost count of the amount of guys I made out with that week.

When we returned back from our trip, something strange happened. My ex had called me out on all the things I had done on my trip. I knew immediately where the information was coming from. My vacation secrets were being shared from my backstabbing bitch of a "friend" to the man I still claimed to love and care about.

That wasn't the only thing being shared. It turns out that my "friend" was sharing a lot more than secrets with him. She was fucking him and I eventually found out from her that it was much more than just sex. Apparently there were feelings involved. This went on for a very long period of time right under my nose and behind my back and I let it happen. The other friends knew but had never told me. I learned very quickly after this whole blowout what "friendship" and "loyalty" really meant and I knew I never had any of it.

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